Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
