guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
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