I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
