True but thats because hes a fetus.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
