the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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