Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
