She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Randomize
