Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
