I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
