Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
