i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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