I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
