don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
