we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
