i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
