whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
