ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
