I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am available for nakedness
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
