sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
