Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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