I'm jealous of your bromance
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
