Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
