Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
foreskin is a definite game changer
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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