I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
