last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
