After last night, I could never be a politician.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm sobbing to NWA
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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