at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
