Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
