I am puke
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
