We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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