I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
