you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
