i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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