Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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