What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
