you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
