So drunk its hurt
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
