He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
