I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
is that a dick in a sweater?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
