So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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