I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
