She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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