Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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