She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
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