I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
