the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
