Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
