Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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