Cold hands, warm shart.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
NoShamevember. You game?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
