the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
